Thursday, 29 June 2017

"F*** the Tories!" - JON SNOW & #CHANNEL4NEWS

The following is the unedited version of an exposé currently featured in the 19th revised edition of Malleus Maleficus'  [title withheld]. If you wish to report intrusiveness, racism or inaccuracies, please email  To make a formal complaint under IPSO rules please contact IPSO directly at .  

 It has been said that the difference between a writer and a journalist is that journalists don’t get writer’s block. Which may also explain why the journalist’s mandate does not, as a rule, involve plagiarisms or doctored facts. It does, on the other hand, have the potential to distort the true scale of events.  Indeed, it can be convincingly argued that for sheer clout, the press is up there with potentates and demagogues - incendiary in a crisis and absent when confronted with responsibilities. The two Gulf wars, after all, were the bastard offspring of multinational media manipulation. And please don’t tell me, that the succession of incidents beginning with, say, the Fort Hood US Army base in Killeen, Texas 2009,  Fusilier Lee Rigby, Charlie Hebdo, San Bernardino, Orlando, Paris, Brussels, Nice, Munich, Normandy, Jan. 6th 2017 at Fort Lauderdale Airport, Florida, or on March 22nd, Westminster, Houses of Parliament, and again Manchester Arena, would equally have taken place without the media and its gagging reproductive newsreel cycle. Examples could go on, but the point is plain enough. The competitive grooming of teeming gluttonous masses is always odious; combined with raising the likelihood of forthcoming terrorist plots, it is nauseating. 
Indeed, it would be hard to frame a pretext better calculated to inflame the copy-cat -  while not giving a rat’s ass, in a poignant phrase, that they have turned public bereavement  into communal masturbation.
  Felicitas Fellatio - it is a lure they couldn’t resist! Then came June 3. London Bridge - which was classic reverse psychology.
All of which leads me to that ‘slick bastard’ (the epithets are various) known as Jon Snow, and “the almost hysterical Channel 4 News”.[1] A relic of the ever-adolescent Marxist 68ers, one has reasonable grounds for believing that Jon Snow is, or may be, an individual who facilitates the commission of one of the world’s fastest growing illegal activities: Terrorism.  The significant consideration being  that Snow, like any  other crusading news anchor, is able brazenly and barefacedly to boost and bump up the dangers inherent in a potentially inflationary 
copy cat situation. Creating the very thing we're seeking to avoid. And never mind the tears trickling down his compassionate Caucasian face. Snow came to Channel 4 with righteousness on his side and an excess of leftist cultural participation. Unlike his incessantly irritating and gobby crony, “Jon’s Mini-Me,”[2] Krishnan Guru-Murthy, the clown prince of news-desk interrogation,  just 5ft 10in, but as thickly forequartered as a pit bull, who makes it quiet plain that he couldn’t care less. The less gifted a bastard, the meaner the method! No master of English prose,  Krishnan is the backup bully, and his modus  not so much an inquiry as an obituary: "Listen pal," he said to me, chomping a packet of crisps, "if you stop talking 
while I'm talking, you'll be ok.”[3] If Jon Snow has no understanding of unbiased reporting, Krishnan has an existential predicament. He doesn't know whether to become another, apoplective, overfed, invidious, 'syphilitic  parasite’[4] of the social movement termed PC, or stick to the venerable but vulnerable ethnicity that got him his job in the first place. To wit, Channel 4 is a publicly owned commercially funded public service broadcaster with a mandate for nurturing new talent, reflecting cultural diversity and championing alternative points of view.  So they have to keep sustaining each other with lines from their common credo: "Never give Israel an even break!" With its evident culpability of the crime of existing, Jon Snow reasons, journalistic objectivity and ethical constraint can safely be ignored. Dreyfus is guilty. The case is closed. 
Robert Downey, jr.

          Angry militants are more usually young men, lonely, friendless and resentful. Significantly, they are often sexually frustrated.  Did Jon Snow sell his soul for popularity? Frankly, I don’t recall ever having  come across a more aggressive and depressing approach to newscasting than an anchor who  actively presents himself as the unerotic version of Che Guevara. Besides,  I’m troubled by people who foam at the mouth.  Where Guru-Murthy’s mode of prompting has become the stuff of legend  – ‘Yes!’ or ‘No!’, Snow  is  an aggressive prosecutor with a flair for visceral cross-examination (complete with a specific hissing cadence), who retains all of his ‘undergraduate attitude’. In truth, it is hard to see him as anything other than a political adolescent with a chip on his shoulder. A sort of overpaid secular saint, sweeping down from Primrose Hill - London's upper West side - avenging the oppressed, the feeble and the forgotten. To say nothing of a career worth several million on Wikipedia. The hypocrisy is so perfect, it is almost callous. Snow has presented Channel 4 News for some 28 years, and his star is waning. He is desperate and nourishes a desperado's philosophy. For him,
newscasting is not just an informational process, but an inherently biased ideological competition which must inevitably lead to the victory of “the proletariat over the bourgeoisie”[©Karl Marx]. Its crimes are read in a shriek of simulated rage. Worse still, he doesn’t know how to stop. The most appalling feature of the Grenfell tragedy was Jon Snow's  performance against the backdrop of the inferno. Tragic for all those affected, but an aphrodisiac for a sadist. But then, every audience gets the Snow it deserves So Channel 4 News  goes on and on, an imaginary Glastonbury filled with screaming, dancing fillies of the X Factor and American Idol variety, a deft dose of multiculturalism and bopping students, this fascist smugfest is not inspired by the concept of what represents impartial journalism, but by a lonesome old man favouring Y-fronts and green socks, shouting “F*** the Tories!”

                        They seem happy; maybe all Jon needs is company...

"F*** the Tories!"

[1] ©Dominic Lawson
[2] ©Rod Liddle
[3] 22/04/2015 Robert Downey Jr walks out on Krishnan Guru-Murthy.
[4] © Robert Downey Jr.
July 7, 2005: 7/7 – June 30,2007: Glasgow airport – May 22, 2013: Lee Rigby – December 5, 2015: Leytonstone Tube Station – June 16, 2016: Jo Cox – March 22, 2017: Westminster – May 22, 2017: Manchester – June 03, 2017: London Bridge

*** Showing cause that Malleus Maleficus  has, or may have, impaired, injured or damaged a name, brand, or reputation is an important part of any libel action!  

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